As a prequel to my debut on BookDaily, I thought a brief autobiography would be appropriate. Here is Part I:
God had been
trying to get my attention for a while. I was extremely stressed with my
responsibilities as principal of a private school and about the health of my
elderly parents. Some days almost seemed unbearable, working ten to twelve
hours a day and dashing to doctors and hospitals. Gradually, I developed my own
personal health concerns.
I was diagnosed
with stage four cancer, a very aggressive form that required immediate
attention. I was told over the phone, while I was still at work. I was shocked,
even though I suspected bad news. Somehow, hearing it out loud made it more
real. My first thoughts were how I would tell my family. Strangely, I also
thought about the need to write a will, not that I have much to pass on. I
believed in God with all my heart, so I wasn’t really afraid of dying, but I
worried about how my family would cope. While driving on my way home, I talked
to God. I told Him that whatever fate He chose for me, I would accept. I told
Him that whether I lived or died, I knew I had the victory. In death I would be
blessed in heaven, but if He chose to allow me to live, I would try to be a
blessing to others. Either way, I prayed that God would be glorified. From that
moment until the end of my chemotherapy and radiation treatments, I felt a
remarkable peace. My stress disappeared! Almost a year later, I was declared
free of cancer, and I was back at work, until the next time God tried to get my
attention.
After 23 years
of working for the same organization, I found myself out of a job. I felt
pierced to my soul because my work was my life. It gave my life purpose. At
that point, I did not know what God had planned for me. Compared to battling
cancer or anything else in my life, this was much more devastating to me.
Immediately, I relied on my faith. I read the Bible and talked to God, and this
time, I listened for His voice with a message for me. I felt God comforting me
and helping me to understand my circumstances, yet, for months, I did not know
what He wanted me to do. What would be my new purpose in life? I struggled with
understanding what was to come next. I sought employment without any luck.
Rather than sitting around and doing nothing, I decided to go back to school
and earn my Master’s Degree. That in itself, was quite a journey, but it gave
me a purpose.
One day, I had a
conversation with my sister. She suggested that I begin a journal to help me
determine my new direction in life. I took her advice, at first, but I found
that writing about myself did not inspire me. I decided to write about what did
inspire me, God. However, at first, I had no idea what to write about. I
thought about my own attributes. I considered myself humble and meek, but I
believed those traits to be a detriment to my professional career. I believed I
needed to be more assertive, yet I knew Christ taught us to be humble and meek.
To help me resolve the contradiction, I decided to begin writing about the
Beatitudes from Matthew 5, where Christ declared, “Blessed are those who are poor in spirt” (humble) and “Blessed are the meek.” I wanted to prove
to the world and to myself that humility and meekness are attributes we should aspire
toward in ourselves, characteristics that are valued by God. At the same time,
due to my experiences, I had become disappointed with people. I wanted to know
why so many Christians struggled with putting Christ’s teachings into practice,
including myself. So, I began writing.
The writing process for me was incredible.
To be continued...
©
2017 Helen Kamenos All rights reserved
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