Present Moment

 At this moment I feel ecstatic,

A sense of joy is welling up and makes me euphoric,

Peace is what I have acquired 

After months of mental turmoil which made me delve deep into my soul and I was tired

Preceding this phase I was continuously dabbling

Through a period of eight months of inner rambling

Where I witnessed a complete transformation 

Of myself and my relationships, because of divine intervention

It seemed like as though the rapidity of the change 

Was as fast as lightning and everyone around me were amazed to see me change 

But, that is what I consciously wanted and I had planned

To do after my kids left my nest and I had yearned

And waited for this time, when I could do all that I wanted

To write, to work with NGOs, and do lots of other things which I had craved 

For years and years

But I never got the chance, as my kids were my priority and my dears

I began my journey with a heavy heart

Missing my children, as my heart tore apart

An emptiness and void threatened to engulf me

And I felt like I was as aimless and lost, as you can be when you are in space and hurtling down with nothing but me

I felt very desolate, suffocated, and lonely, but then I summoned my inner strength and embarked on a journey to discover the real me

I kept praying each day and thrived on the strength I received from the Lord Almighty

And then began my journey of self discovery 

Of self revelance, self retrospection, and I saw myself changing

With an amazing speed and becoming the same person, as I was as a young thing

When I had just stepped into marital bliss

With stars in my eyes  and a zest to embark on new journey of my life, with my prince charming who gave me incomparable bliss

In the form of his love and affection

But,in all the years of being married I had unknowingly lost myself, but now I had a determination

To find my real self

And I did find myself, after a tedious amount of concentrated effort and I did not stress myself

And went about it in a calm manner

Little by little like an expert planner

And now in the present moment I have attained salvation

And I feel joyous and thank the Lord Almighty for his divination

This new self whom I was discovering every day

Was not known to anyone who lived with me in my fray

So they were surprised and raised a brow

And exclaimed with amazement when they saw me grow

And tranform into the real person

The real person who loved life and lived for a reason

A reason of giving joy and affection

To each and every person around me who came in my connection

Now after eight months when I see myself in this present moment

I feel a sense of deep satisfaction and a spiritual calm which is very potent

And I feel that I was on a journey of inner discovery in the past eight months

It was an extremely tough job, as there were layers and layers of dust and dreary

which had settled on my real self

But I cleared it all by myself

And now I am in the present moment 

At peace and I feel such joy and freedom which is so poignant

And it tells me that there are miles to go before I sleep

Miles to go before I sleep