Has Anything Unexpected Happened to You Lately?

Does God speak to us? Yes, of course! How do we know, if he does? Well, that is the real question, isn’t it? As Christians, we are told to develop a relationship with Christ, but how can we relate to God? Christ declared, “My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me” (John 10:27). We know when God speaks to us because He speaks truth, love and goodness. That is how we recognize His voice.

There are many ways we can communicate with God. The obvious way is through prayer. Prayer is simply talking to God, just as you would talk to a good friend, except He knows everything about you. He knows your needs. He knows what is good for you and what is not. He knows what to do to lead you closer to Him. He knows your doubts, your worries, and your deepest and darkest secrets. We are all familiar with prayer, but how do we listen to God? How do we take that next step? The Holy Spirit within us facilitates our ability to hear God. Let me relay to you a couple of my recent experiences as examples.

I fast on Wednesdays and Fridays, so I can take communion on Sundays. On Friday I opened my freezer to decide what to eat. The hotdogs, my favorites, looked very appealing, and I thought to myself, I will not be able to go to church this week, so I will have a couple of hotdogs! But, as soon as that thought entered my mind, the hotdogs no longer seemed appetizing, so I had fish instead. It turned out that I was able to go to church, after all, and was therefore able to have communion. Was that a coincidence? In addition, on Sunday morning I found myself getting ready for church, realizing that I had forgotten my contacts at my mom’s house. I am very self-conscious about going out wearing my glasses. I have always hated wearing glasses. It is my vanity, one of my weaknesses! For a moment, I thought to myself that I can’t go to church without my contacts! Then I realized that it was my vanity speaking to me and I laughed to myself. God arranged it so that I would have to overcome my self-consciousness and go to church in my glasses. Was this a coincidence? Such a seemingly little insignificant thing, yet I knew what God was saying to me.  

On Saturday, I had a very antagonizing experience with my cell provider, which will remain unnamed. A couple of months ago, I had purchased a phone for my mother. The salesperson told me he would try to make me a great deal. He would give me a tablet and a few accessories for free. I asked him what the catch was. He said there was no catch. He threw the tablet in my bag with my new phone, and then threw in a couple more items, telling me everything was free. He had me sign a contract on his tablet, which only allowed me to see the signature line. Stupid me! I was not given a receipt or a copy of my contract. My cell phone provider did not mail me a bill for the next month, since I signed up for auto pay, but finally sent me a bill the following month! Now, it turns out that I am paying $20/month for unlimited data on my tablet, which I do not use, and $9/month for the accessories on an installment plan. The only accessory I used was the car charger, and I finally used that last week. I didn’t need any of this free stuff! In addition, the signature on the contract for the accessories was copied and pasted into that contract, so I never actually signed it. I knew the old adage, “nothing is ever really free,” but I trusted that a company employee would not flat out lie to me! Silly me!

So, Saturday I went to my cell provider’s store to remedy the situation. I was not appeased. I called the company and was again mislead and lied to, compounding the situation. I spent five hours trying to resolve the issue on that day, I came away dissatisfied and no solution. I resolved to return to the store and give them a piece of my mind, which was already frazzled. I had planned to tell them a thing or two about their company practices, about integrity and honesty. But before I did, I decided to check my account on the internet. While I was checking the contracts I had supposedly signed, the power in my house went out. Was that a coincidence? I took that as a message that God did not want me to go to the store and vent my frustrations in anger. As I stopped to think how I should behave as a Christian, it came to me that I should forgive them. Yes, that’s right! Forgive!

So…I will pay $250 for the free items I do not use, just to get out of that contract and look for another cell provider. I cannot deal with a company that apparently encourages such misleading and blatantly dishonest business dealings. Most likely, many other companies do the same thing, but what choice do I have. I must, at least, try to find another company and hope that they will have more integrity. Should I mistrust everyone because of this? No! I will still believe the best in people. Soon after all this, I did finally sign up with another cell provider after spending a week trying to get my phones unlocked by the previous provider! I never knew that they could hold your fully paid phones as hostage! So far, all is well. My phone works well, I have not had any dropped calls and people can hear me when I speak to them.

Was God speaking to me? Of course, He was! There are no coincidences, only unexpected events orchestrated by God, events that are meant to get our attention, to change our way of thinking, and to make God’s will known to us. There are no coincidences, only events which increase our faith and bring us closer to God. Has anything unexpected happened to you lately? 

© 2017  Helen Kamenos  All rights reserved 

http://www.helenkamenos.com/

Disagreeable Duties

Yesterday, I was hosted at a local bookstore for an Author Book Signing. Many people came into the store. I was seated at a table with my books and materials, right at the front door. I greeted everyone as they entered with all the warmth and friendliness I could muster. Almost everyone responded likewise. I offered each person a free bookmark. Some said “Yes” and others said “No,” but what I found most interesting is that many said “Yes,” until they noticed Jesus on the bookmark. They looked at it and quickly said, “No, thank you.” A few even jumped back! What is it that causes some to reject a free bookmark with a picture of Jesus? Why such a negative reaction? Is it the adverse response to religion? Is it that so many no longer believe in God? Or is it that so many would rather not think about God? After all, He is so demanding. He expects so much of us. If we believe in Christ and all His teachings, we may have to make a change in our lives. We may have to give up some of the pleasurable things or pleasurable behaviors in our lives. We may have to admit that we are not the “good” person we would like to believe we are. No, it is better to just keep living life as we are. Changes are so difficult. We hate change!

The fact is that all God expects of us is to love Him and love others. What is so hard about that? Deep down inside, we know that if we are to love God and love others, we may have to give up our own desires. We will not be able to just consider our own needs and wants first. We would have to give up some of those needs and wants for the sake of someone else. For example, it is not easy to choose between sacrificing our time of pursuing our own interests to go and take care of a sick friend. Taking care of someone who is sick requires disagreeable duties, such as cleaning up after him, feeding her, and/or spending hours at the hospital with him. We would have to love him or her very much to make such a sacrifice, or we would have to love God very much. Often, loving others requires us to sacrifice our time to engage in disagreeable duties, or it may require us to forgive someone we really do not wish to forgive.

Does God expect us to sacrifice ourselves? Yes, without a doubt. Christ said, “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me” (Matthew 16:24). Why does God expect us to sacrifice ourselves for others? This is God’s will. In truth, genuine love always requires a sacrifice from us. God desires us to love because the reward for loving others is immeasurable. It is a gift from God, which we often take for granted.

I feel sad for those who look at a picture of Christ and feel that they cannot get away quick enough. I feel compassion for those who do not know the love of God. God must have had compassion on me at my book signing because He did send me a young girl full of innocent love, full of God’s love. She was a bright light in the gloom of countless faces. She was open and honest, telling me about her faith and about her challenges in life. I was able to give her a word of encouragement because she was open to it. She was willing to listen. She skipped away with joy in her step, and I felt blessed that God allowed me to give her a of word reassurance. It is for these moments that I persevere in faith. I would much rather spend my time showing love toward others than anything else I could possibly do. No one bought my book, but my time was well spent because of this sweet young girl. God, please watch over her and bless her! 

© 2017  Helen Kamenos  All rights reserved

http://www.helenkamenos.com/

Being Confronted

In the last couple of weeks, I was confronted by two people about my Christian faith. One was an atheist who challenged me in a lively debate and ended her lengthy response to my arguments with “I don’t hope you become an atheist. I know the comfort of believing in God…All this said, I’m a person of science and logic. While I find it HIGHLY unlikely I’m wrong, I would welcome that reality with open arms.” She was once a Christian, but lost her faith. I pray that she experiences God and finds her faith once again.

The second person was a Christian fundamentalist who told me to renounce “the idolatry of icon worship and works for salvation.” He had many more angry words to add to this statement, but I won’t burden you with the rest of his rantings. This person obviously has no idea what Orthodox Christianity is all about. I was taken aback by his response, yet I am fully aware that there are many in the Protestant denominations who know nothing about Orthodoxy, yet feel they know everything they need to know. This kind of response traces back to the conflict between the Roman Catholic Church and those who led the Protestant Reformation. The result was a complete rejection of all that appeared to be Roman Catholic and “organized” religion. These wounds have not healed.

Just for the record, Orthodox Christianity traces its roots back 2,000 years to the original church set up by the Apostles and St. Paul. Icons were commonly used in the early church to tell the story of Christ through pictures to a population of believers who were, for the most part, illiterate. The four Gospels and the Epistles were read to the congregations during church services, as they still are to this day. Icons are not worshipped by Orthodox believers. They are venerated, just as we show respect to a picture of a loved one who has passed on to the next life. Orthodox Christians recognize a heavenly church, the Church Triumphant, which consists of those who have been rewarded with Christ’s crowns of victory, having attained salvation. These would include all the saints, those the church has recognized as saints, as well as all those who are with Christ, who may not have been formerly recognized. The earthly church, known as the Church Militant, includes those still alive and still fighting the good fight. Just as we ask our friends and family members to intercede on our behalf and pray for us, at times, we ask the Saints, who are with Christ to intercede on our behalf. Orthodox Christians do not worship the Saints. As St. Paul said, “For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit” (1 Corinthians 12:12-13). Christ’s Church is one body of believers with many members.

A greater issue for Christian believers, which my fundamentalist friend brought up, is the issue of works for salvation. This is definitely not a tenet of Orthodox Christianity or any other mainstream Christian church. We all agree that we are saved by the grace of God, who has mercy on us and forgives us our sins. However, does this mean I can continue to sin and simply ask God for forgiveness each time? Is there nothing about our lives that should change, once we proclaim ourselves a Christian? What makes us a genuine faithful follower of Christ?  According to Jeremiah 17:12, “I the Lord test the mind and search the heart, to give to all according to their ways, according to the fruit of their doings.” The “fruit of their doings” are our actions, how we live our lives, with an emphasis on the heart and mind. The old adage, “our actions speak louder than words” applies here. James put it this way, “Show me your faith apart from your works, and I by my works will show you my faith” (James 2:18). I can say I love my neighbor all I want, but if I don’t act on my words, they are meaningless. What does this mean for me as a Christian?

As a true follower of Christ, we look for opportunities to bless others. If God sends a homeless person into a moment of our lives, we feed him or give him money. This is love. Does it matter whether he will spend it on alcohol or drugs? No! God gives us the opportunity to bless him, and it is up to him how he will accept that blessing. It is my heart that God is testing. Are we sensitive to the needs of our family and friends? If a family member needs our time, we will stop whatever we are doing and give him our full attention. This is love. If a friend needs a shoulder to cry on, we listen with an empathic heart. We offer advice, if appropriate, but it is more important that we listen. This is love. If an old woman is walking out of the store with a cane and too many bags for her to carry, we will take the time to help her to her car, even though we are in a hurry to be somewhere. This is love. We see a stranger who is visibly distraught. We ask him, if there is anything we can do to help. He says “no.” How can we be a blessing to someone who refuses our help? We pray for him or her. This is love. God hears our prayers.

Why did Christ set up a church, a community of believers? For God, we are a community, especially if we are believers. We no longer serve ourselves and our needs. We look for opportunities to serve others. These opportunities come up every day. Many times, our opportunities arise when we face challenges or hardship. Each challenge is an opportunity for us to glorify God through our actions, our love and our faith. It is only through the fruits of our actions in love that our faith grows, as well as the faith of others. When we offer love to someone unexpectedly, they are blessed, but we are also blessed by the love of the Holy Spirit in us. We feel God’s love toward us.

Why should we go to church? Now, that is a touchy subject for some. However, God blessed us with talents we are to share with one another. Love in our hearts is not genuine love, until we act upon it. We go to church to bless one another. We go to church to encourage one another and strengthen one another. Christianity is about relationships! Relationship with God through Holy Communion, as well as communal prayer and worship are crucial. Holy Communion is just that – communion or intimacy with God. We also go to church to develop relationships with one another, loving and blessing one another in unity. Through the Holy Spirit, we are united with one another as Christ, the head of our church, is one with God. God has knit us together with a part of Himself that actually lives inside each and every true believer. If it has been a while since you have gone to church, or maybe you have never gone to church, go this Sunday. God will be happy to see you there and will bless you! Look for that blessing!

© 2017  Helen Kamenos  All rights reserved

http://www.helenkamenos.com/

What Modesty Culture Taught Me

I read an article the other day and it got my mind racing. For complete context, I would suggest reading that article first before completing this one.

As a man who continually wrestling with lust and pornography, this article hit me hard. The “virtues” of modesty culture, the lies that the church conditioned me to believe and that I convinced myself to take as truth.

Guarding your heart to prevent relational issues. Dressing a certain way to please the conservative consensus. Shifting most, if not all, of the responsibility of remaining pure to a particular gender (mainly women). It’s no wonder why it feels like crossing a minefield blindfolded just to initiate a conversation with the opposite sex.

Don’t be a stumbling block

The idea of a stumbling block refers to situations or habits that causes a believer to back track into sin. Or it can be interpreted as a person that is distracting you from Christ. I look at the following verses as affirming both interpretations:

Romans 14:13,

“Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.”

1 Corinthians 8:9,

“But take care that this right of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak.”

If I am being a stumbling block, I humbly ask how I cannot be one. After all, as a brother in Christ, my main goal is to edify you. But sometimes, my emotions take over all logic. Even ignoring scriptural truth that “the heart is deceitful” (Jeremiah 17:9). So I won’t pretend that I’m exempt from the occasional rebuke. I’m still learning how to separate love and infatuation.

Stay within your group.

I think the church has devalued male-female friendship. It’s an imbalance that I think the church masquerades as a necessity. The status quo that must be obeyed without question. And I think it’s more of a sign of the church’s unwillingness to progress with modern-day relationship dynamics.

Speaking from personal experience, I’ve always been relegated to just being around guys for accountability and purity purposes. And while it took a lot of maturing to accept the spiritual benefits of male friendships, I still felt an emptiness of female friendship.

Paul writes in Ephesians 4:1–7,

“I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called,

with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,

eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

There is one body and one Spirit — just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call —

one Lord, one faith, one baptism,

one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

But grace was given to each one of us according to the measure of Christ’s gift.”

As we build these walls, I wonder whether it’s out of holiness or fear of invasion. I look at my female relationships within the church and see the latter. Hurtful, indifferent, or caring out of obligation. No sense of direction or purpose. We’re only friends because we’re both Christians or serve in the same ministry.

Are we friends or work partners?

Outside of the church, I’ve had plenty of female friends. Some of which I called best friends. Although their faith wasn’t evident, these were girls I could confide in and talk to. No need to deal with modesty culture rules or empty phrases that encourage separation. But a direct connection that was imperfect, real, and beautiful.

Of course, there were boundaries that I had to adhere to. Limits to the amount of times we could spend together, the types of conversations to have, and so on. But it didn’t need to be enforced. There was an unspoken mutual understanding that naturally led to a connection. It makes me wonder why I can’t experience this same treatment from the same church I’m called to serve and love.

Fear of man (and woman)

Am I terrified of women?

Yes and no.

Yes, in that first impression is everything. As someone who has trust issues, it’s hard for me to look women in the eyes or even initiate conversation for fear that I may take it too far. Break some sort of unspoken law that may determine the future of our interactions. The paranoia sets in. The fear that maybe she will see through my Christian facade and see a broken man not of worthy of grace and love.

No, in that I can easily detach if you want nothing to do with me. It’s almost a superpower I developed from my tendency to be a loner. I’m now in a season where I’m more content in singleness than I’ve ever been in my adult life. I almost see it as God granting me deliverance from constantly chasing relationship idols. If anything, I’m willing to respect the boundaries and see her as an image-bearer and daughter of God.

Teach a new lesson

I believe that modesty culture has good intentions. And that there should be guidelines on how we view and interact with each other. But these guidelines shouldn’t be laws to a dead religion that only brings death to relationships, connections, and trust.

Rather, I pray that we “aim for restoration, comfort one another, agree with one another” — and more importantly — “live in peace” (2 Corinthians 13:11). Especially with people who aren’t like you. People like me who are estranged and have to watch from the sidelines. People like me who struggle with low self-esteem and have a tough time believing they are not worthy of anything good.

I’m not trying to stage a rebellion or abolish the rules. But rather encourage a rethinking in how the church community functions. Let’s be a light of love for each other and the world. Let’s be willing to tear down these walls and build roads that converge to the narrow path.

Let’s be brothers and sisters united under one Father and his precious Son, our Elder Brother Jesus Christ.

The Christian Faith Has Little to Do with Belief in God

Although I have attempted to answer the question, does God exist, the Christian faith has little to do with belief in God. As James eloquently stated, “Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble” (James 2:19). Belief in God is not enough. I always believed that God’s message to us, the theme throughout the Bible is love. However, I never fully understood this truth and I probably still do not fully comprehend this spiritual truth. If we boil it all down to one thing, “He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love” (1 John 4:8). If God is love and God is good, then what is evil? God gave the Israelites the Ten Commandments. Notice that all, but two, tell us what not to do.

1. You shall have no other gods before Me.
2. You shall make no idols.
3. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.
4. Keep the Sabbath day holy.
5. Honor your father and your mother.
6. You shall not murder.
7. You shall not commit adultery.
8. You shall not steal.
9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
10. You shall not covet.

Only two of the commandments tell us what to do, keep the Sabbath holy and honor your father and mother. Has anyone ever told you what not to do? What happens? Children experience this from a young age. The first thing they want to do is exactly what you just told them not to do. Why is that? Somehow, our propensity for evil is kicked up a notch. It is our pride or ego. God knows this. Because of our pride, our self-centeredness, God knew that the only way to reach us was through His love. Furthermore, He knew that the only way to show us how much He loves us and to teach us how to truly love, He would have to come down from His throne of glory and sacrifice Himself for us. He would have to die for us.

When Christ came He gave us only two commandments, love God and love your neighbor as you love yourself. From the moment when Jesus died on the cross for us, if we do not believe in God, that is equal to not loving God. Well, you may say, “Of course, I cannot love something that I do not believe exists.” That’s true, but there is another dimension to that truth. What about loving others? Can I love others? In human terms, we say, “Yes, of course!” However, those of us who do not know God, do not know His kind of love. Let me try to explain.

If we choose to reject God, our ego or self-centeredness is still focused on ourselves. Somehow, we cannot let go of issues, such as how do I feel about that, what do I want, and what will make me happy. We cannot quite come out of ourselves and make God or others a priority. I still comes first. Yes, I know! There are moments when we, of course, come out of ourselves to truly love others, but those are moments. The word “sin” means “missed the mark,” when you shoot an arrow, to hit the target, but it is not a “bullseye.” Sin means “close, but not quite.” We act in love, sometimes, but often we do not. In reality, this is the definition of evil. Evil is the lack of love. This lack of love can is expressed in varying degrees. It may be expressed when we disrespect our parents, when we steal something that belongs to someone else, when we gossip about others, or when we murder someone. When Christ said, “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect” (Matthew 5:48), He meant that we should always act in love, not just sometimes. If that is what Christ truly meant (and He did), then it would be to our benefit to repent for our sins. We should be sorry when we do not act in love.

However, we do not truly know how to always act in love because we become conflicted between what we want and what others want from us. If we love someone enough, we are willing to sacrifice our self-centeredness, our desires. But Christ asked us to always act in love, even to our enemies. Now that is difficult for us, but why should it be so difficult? Ask yourself, what kind of person do I want to be? Do I want to be someone who always acts in love or someone who is self-centered? How much self-centeredness is permitted? Christ said “Be perfect.” To find out, ask God yourself. Is it possible for me to be perfect? This is a complex question. Do you want to be perfect? Ask God, what it means to be perfect. God knows that we cannot be perfect overnight, but He is willing to teach us, if you ask Him. Do you want to know perfect and divine love? 

© 2017  Helen Kamenos  All rights reserved

http://www.helenkamenos.com/